Burt's Self Inflicted Illness

When I went to Napa my cousin Lindsey was telling us that she lost 14 pounds on a 21 day "Diet Detox" so I quickly went out and bought the book, the supplements and all of the fresh vegetables for Burt. It was very expensive, $465.00 to be exact. I thought it was worth it since he really wanted to lose some weight but didn't have the motivation to exercise. I knew that since money was involved, he would follow through with it because there is no way my sweet babe would let $1.00 go to waste. So he mentally prepared himself for this detox and when Monday rolled around the vegetable drinks began. It wasn't so bad the first day, except that he had to plug his nose and gag down the drinks, but overall, he said he wasn't too hungry. The second day however, was HORRIBLE! He came home from work early because he was sooo, sooo sick. Personally, I think he was faking it to get out of the coffee enema he was suppose to give himself that night:) Seriously though, he was really, really sick! Almost as sick as he was when he got the black widow bite. He was suffering between fevers and chills, intense stomach cramps, the most debilitating migraine he has ever had and the poor little buddy was violently throwing up for hours. This of course did not help his poor head. My heart ached for him and there was nothing I could do to comfort him, so off to the doc we went. Come to find out, my little sweetie had given himself a partial bowel obstruction from following a diet detox that I, his loving wife, had recommended:) Once he was feeling better he "politely" informed me that the ONLY way he would be losing weight from this day forward would be from good old fashioned EXERCISE! (November 4, 2008)